Cinema Hype

New on DVD this week, we have a perfect example of a “what might have been” movie. Regardless of what anyone thinks of The Da Vinci Code as a novel (Atrocious? Or the finest literary thriller since, well, ever?), there’s little doubt that a film adaptation could have been good, in a summer-blockbuster kind of way. It could have been interesting, and maybe suspenseful, because it could have highlighted the fun parts of the novel and eliminated some of its more glaring technical flaws. Also, it had Paul Bettany, which is money in the Bank of Awesome. Yes, things could have gone well for the adaptors of The Da Vinci Code.

Unfortunately, Opie Ron Howard got a hold of the screenplay and promptly cast Tom Hanks and his utterly distracting Academia!Mullet in leading roles. Now, I like Hanks as much as the next girl, and I’m willing to place a fair bit of faith in his ability to inhabit a wide range of roles. But he’s too old, too normal, and too serious to be Robert Langdon the way we want to see him. There’s a note of nerdiness (and maybe innocence?) that’s just not there–Hanks is unassuming, but he never seems truly surprised when his characters get swept into strange circumstances. My vote would have gone with Robert Downey, Jr., or maybe Tim Robbins (Again, the absence of my opinion in this decision is glaringly obvious! Will they never learn?).

And then there’s Sophie. I try not to complain too much about the casting here, because I actually think Audrey Tautou is a good fit for the role. I sort of suspect that she ended up in the role just because she’s one of two and a half readily recognizable French actresses out there (Juliette Binoche and possibly Julie Delpy being the others), but that doesn’t make her a bad choice. The tragedy here is in the complete dumbing-down of the role, and in its subordination to Langdon. In the novel, Sophie manages to be both alluring and far, far smarter than Langdon. Somewhere during the process of adapting the screenplay, she was demoted to his adorable sidekick and eventual love interest: we see her on the posters, already sort of leaning on Hanks, and then she spends the movie trailing along after him instead of charging ahead. It’s disappointing, seeing a strong, likeable female character dissolved that way. Things might have been better if the screenwriters hadn’t been so eager to simplify the relationship between Sophie and Robert and to give Hanks his required screen time.

Aside from casting, what makes The Da Vinci Code a bad movie is that it’s, well…it’s boring. When you think about it, this isn’t that surprising. The plot of The Da Vinci Code isn’t dull. In fact, it seems made for the big screen. There’s a catch, though: that plot depends on historical events that need to be explained to the audience clearly but succinctly, which makes adapting the script something of a challenge. Somehow, Howard and his team neglected to deal with all of that explication. What we end up with instead is Hanks rattling off long historical lectures, which is approximately as interesting as it sounds.

Aside from the challenge of all that non-action text, there’s the always-delicate matter of “feel,” which I think may be the biggest problem with the movie. It’s a basic question of the letter vs. the spirit of the text. The best adaptations follow the original text as closely as possible, but they also capture whatever intangible it is that makes them worth adapting–whatever it is that makes people love them. Here, Howard followed the events of the novel pretty closely, but he was so wrapped up in plot accuracy that he forgot to look up and keep track of how those events affect the audience, and how he could make them more engaging. In doing so, he left the audience with nothing new or particularly exciting, nothing to ooh and aah over as they left the theater. It’s sad, since he put so much time and effort into getting everything else right.

So I guess what I have to say to Howard is this: it was a good try. Maybe you should try watching some movies for awhile. Practice being an audience member again before you go anywhere near East of Eden, mmmkay?