Cinema Hype

I just saw an ad for the DVD release of Aliens vs. Predator. First of all, hasn’t that movie been out for, I don’t know, FOREVER? Or is it just one of those archetypal films—existing in the past, present, and future in the collective unconscious of the moviegoing public, perpetually on the brink of critical and financial success? (Note: Some research reveals that I am not crazy—in this respect, anyway—and that the concept of Alien vs. Predator has been around since the release of a 1989 comic book, and that the original film came out in 2004. This one’s a sequel. Was the first round a draw, or something? “Whew, I’m tired, and that tail-lashing thing you do is killing me. Can we rest up and meet again in 2007?” “Sure thing, man, and you’d better put a steak on that eye.”)

Secondly, where, exactly, did we get this mini-genre (genre-ette?) of the “vs.” movie? As a kid, our local video store had a copy of a movie called < href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0192175/">The Jetsons Meet the Flintstones, which seemed strangely aggressive to my eight-year-old self, and which raised a whole list of questions in my mind. Where did the Flintstones and the Jetsons meet? In the middle, say, 1988? Why the need for competition? Couldn’t my favorite stone-age family and my favorite space-dwellers live in peace in their respective eras? Why all the brawling? Can’t we all just get along?

Now, though, I think I see the appeal: it’s all about the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat, and about the potential for total domination. We’re a culture that loves a good rumble, and it seems that this could be a healthy-ish and possibly hilarious outlet for our bloodlust. If, for example, we started a giant bracket system pitting film characters against each other, think of the fun! We could go by category and/or role type: Rhett Butler vs. Indiana Jones! The Mighty Ducks vs. The Bad News Bears! Cary Grant vs. George Clooney! Sure, there’d be some strange match-ups eventually, but someday, some character or another would emerge as the butt-kickingest film entity of all time. It’d be like American Idol meets Celebrity Death Match, and who wouldn’t watch that? Count me in.