We’re surprised….why?
NOTE: THIS POST CONTAINS MAJOR, SERIOUS, SURPRISE-RUINING-TYPE SPOILERS FOR INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.
Let me get this out there: I really liked the new Indy movie. It was fast, it was fun, it was totally ridiculous in places, all of which I’ve come to expect from the Lucas-Spielberg-Ford triumvirate and their jaunty hat and whip. I especially liked the 20-minute jungle boat-car chase—you know, as you do—and the way that Shia LaBeouf managed to be kind of charming instead of head-smackingly obnoxious. Well played, all.
But I think we need to talk about the elephant in the room. Say what you will, focus on the sweet motorcycle chase or the “I have a bad feeling about this” moment, but eventually it’s going to come out: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is an alien movie. Lots of people seem to be avoiding the truth, but it’s there. Those are some seriously elongated heads and some seriously big eyes, people.
Now, to those still reeling, I’d like to offer some help. Some support for those still adjusting their schema, if you will. Here are three reasons we should not be surprised about the aliens:
1. Steven Spielberg. If anybody is obsessed with aliens in the movies, it’s this guy. Hello? Close Encounters of the Third Kind? E.T.? Twilight Zone: The Movie? Give this man an “I Want to Believe” poster and get it over with.
2. The scene inside the throne room or captains’ bridge or whatever you’d call it was very 21st century, what with all the melding and universal consciousness and CGI trickery. But the idea is sheer 1950s—recall the beginning of the movie, where nuclear testing, Cold War paranoia, and alien visitation is the name of the game. An older Indy places us smack in the middle of that scenario, and Lucas ran with it, to good effect, I think. If Raiders of the Lost Ark was a reference to the serials of the 1930s, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a reaction to the post-Roswell world. Little green men are the logical choice, here.
3. Only something like this could get the X-Files fans in the audience suitably riled up before the big day of July 25. (Oh, come on. Don’t lie. You know you inserted Mulder into that scene, too. “Scullyyyyyyyyy!”)
See? It’s a tough process, but you’ll get there. Acceptance can be yours. Just go with it.
Indiana Jones, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Raiders of the Lost Ark, X-Files, The X-Files, I Want to Believe, Fox Mulder, Steven Spielberg, aliens, alien movies
May 28th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
Am I the only one who was a little dissappointed that there were no Nazis?
Aren’t there plenty of lost treasure ships and Brazillian enclaves and what-nots to give Indie one last swastika-bashing outing? Hitler’s head in a jar, maybe? Call me old-fashioned.
May 28th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
You know, Nazis *would* have been nice…but it would have been some kind of post-Nazi revival group, or something, no? 1957, and all. But I’m with you. Too bad Cate Blanchett was playing Russian.
May 29th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
When I told one of my friends who did not like the movie that I did like it, her response was the following: “Of course you liked it. It had aliens, you X-Files freak!”
Hee. So true!