The Gender Split
I was sitting around with a bunch of guys over the long weekend, when the conversation inevitably turned to the subject of hotness and hot people, and then, also inevitably, to Jessica Alba. (Not to stereotype, or anything, but sitting around with a bunch of guys, there is a 97% chance that the conversation will turn to Jessica Alba within twenty minutes. Try clocking it.) Apparently, Alba is the female Keanu Reeves, or maybe she’s what Reeves was in 1995: she’s “the hottest thing going” (according to an unscientific survey of males in the immediate vicinity); everybody’s aware that she’s not so much “acting” as “showing up and looking hot,” and nobody minds.
The “Jessica Alba is hot” conversation isn’t exactly noteworthy–again, 97% in twenty minutes or less–but I’d never thought much about the match-up between famous people of each gender. The whole conversation got me thinking, a la Carrie Bradshaw: Does every famous actor have an equivalent of the opposite sex? What makes an accurate or inaccurate comparison? Is there anybody out there that can’t be matched up, and if so, why?
A few symmetries that come to mind:
Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson
Laura Linney and Greg Kinnear
Will Arnett and Amy Sedaris
Edward Norton and Naomi Watts
Sometimes, famous people meet their opposite-gender twins and fall in love:
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner
Winona Ryder (pre-felony) and Johnny Depp (maybe things would’ve worked out better for her if they’d stayed together?)
As for everyone and their doubles, it’s hard to know–who, for example, matches up with John Cusack (besides the obvious, but relatives don’t count)? And if it’s not somebody current, when will we find her? What about Meg Ryan? What about all of the middle-of-the-road actors out there? This could take awhile.
Anyway, it’s just a theory.
September 5th, 2007 at 6:23 pm
But sometimes Kenneth Branaugh (sic) and Emma Thompson are the match and it doesn’t work.
Sigh.
And with whom do we pair the delectable Mr. Firth the elder (other than the already married me)?
Good theory, I’ll be in my bunk . . .
September 5th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Get in line, sister. I actually thought about this and couldn’t come up with anybody. Thoughts? Anybody? I may be limited because I’m thinking she’s got to be English.
Hee! Next thing you know, you’ll be wearing an orange hat. I can knit you one, if you want.