Haiku Thursday: Can You Smell….
Do I really need
a good reason to love what
The Rock is cooking?
I was trolling the deepest, darkest alleys of the film blog world when I saw a fun casting announcement: Dwayne Johnson, formerly known as The Rock, will appear in the upcoming remake of Escape From Witch Mountain. I should probably have strong feelings about this movie and any ill-conceived remaking that might take place. I know that my family watched it when I was little, and the nostalgia factor for early-1980s kids’ movies is strong in this one. But really? All I saw was, “The Rock will appear in blah blah blah. That’s because–brace yourself–I love The Rock.
I know that Dwayne Johnson makes a lot of bad movies. But. He used to be a professional wrestler! A really famous professional wrestler! His signature move was called “The People’s Elbow,” because nobody’s a populist like a scripted wrestler’s a populist. He was named after a geologic feature, and he spoke in the third person. (Confession: I nearly did an English thesis on the rhetoric of the WWF. Who doesn’t love wrestling speeches? I could go on and on.) And, the best part: he spoke at the Republican National Convention in 2000, while still wrestling full time! What is not to love here?
So, no. I cannot promise that I won’t see Escape from Witch Mountain, or The Game Plan, or anything else he does, because…he’s just my favorite well-spoken former wrestler with an inanimate object for a name, okay? You got a problem with that? Know your role! Don’t be a jabroni.
Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, Escape from Witch Mountain, WWF
August 30th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
So awesome, The Rundown is a great movie! Escape From Witch Mountain or To Witch Mountain, I can never remember what it is, all I know is it scared the living daylights out of me, I am afraid of that movie to this day, because of the harmonica and coat rack scene.
August 30th, 2007 at 10:28 pm
Ummmm you like wrestling? Okay. I’ve finally figured out how we are not the same person on two different coasts. I cannot stand wrestling. Some day I will tell you why.
Also, Escape from Witch Mountain??!?? I LOVED those movies when I was a kid. I don’t remember much about them now, but man, I was crazy for them back in the day. I am not sure how I feel about a remake.
August 31st, 2007 at 12:01 pm
As a matter of fact, I first saw The R on Star Trek Voyager, where he was fighting 7 of 9, the kick-ass (and oh so coincidentally sexy) former Borg drone. *Then* I realized he had another life.