Site Meter Cinema Hype » Blog Archive » An Open Letter to Self-Flagellating Heroes Everywhere

An Open Letter to Self-Flagellating Heroes Everywhere

by Liz

To: Spiderman, Harry Potter, and all other heroes with “it can only be me me me” complexes

From: Women

Gentlemen, we know it’s a hard life, being a savior, and all. Great perks; really bad job stability. We know that your greatest gifts are also your biggest curses. Trust us; we know. With great power comes great responsibizzzzzzzzz.

So will you stop breaking up with us, already? You say you have enemies; don’t we all? Granted, our enemies are unlikely to lie, cheat, steal, kidnap, and murder, but…we’re not immune to the snotty girl at work, if you know what we mean. You say it’s going to be hard, and you really can’t have us around to complicate things. Well, thanks for that. Glad to see we mean so much to you that you simply CANNOT have us around. It’s been nice knowing you, you know? And thank you SO much for the respect you show us by allowing us to make our own decisions. That’s really, really nice.

So get over yourselves, and make sure to be home by dinnertime, okay?

Thanks.

Did You Enjoy this Post? Subscribe to Cinema Hype. It's Free!

Leave a Reply


About Cinema Hype

A blog about all things film: the good, the bad, and the really, really ugly. Check us out for news, reviews, haikus, and also other things that don't rhyme, like movie quotations, polls, and commentary. And we won't throw popcorn at you or kick your seat.

Cinema Hype Author(s)
    » Liz

Entertainment & Music Channel Posts

Hot Off The Press

  • New York Fashion Week Spring 2009: Time for a Change
    When flipping through press photos of Fashion Weeks' runways today I realized that I tend to look at the same designers almost everytime, checking to see if any have gone outside of their normal box. [...]
  • It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood...
    ....and Keesha is STILL sleeping. Jerry is up and with Memphis in the back yard. general chitchat, between long periods of silence. I miss Dan. When's he coming back?! 6:15 - Skippy is [...]
  • Tracy sets course record
    Ethan Tracy posts course record in Maryland. [...]
  • The VMA’s
    MTV will air their annual Video Music Awards tonight at 9PM EST. It seems there are big things happening at this years awards. As I am sure you all know Britney Spears is opening the show, the real [...]
  • Retcon Patrol 1-16: "The Other Walker"
    Today continues our summer-long journey through the first season of Brothers & Sisters, from our perspective here at the end of Season Two. As with our re-view of Episodes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, [...]
  • Listen to Mick Foley Explain his WWE Departure, Edge and Christian Re-unite??
    The audio of Mick Foley's appearance on "Opie and Anthony" for Sam Roberts' birthday last week is now available online. You can listen to it by clicking here. Please be in an non-vulgar hearing [...]
  • New Promo Spot for NBC's Monday Night Lineup
    NBC has a new promo for it's Monday Night lineup, which will include Chuck, Heroes and Christian Slater's new show, My Own Worst Enemy.   [...]
  • Always Moving
    As a performer, I have been "always moving" for the past three years. It has been well worth it and it feels incredibly unnatural to be staying at my permanent home in New York for three months [...]
  • Fish oil helps heart patients
    Fish oil supplements may work slightly better than a popular cholesterol-reducing drug to help patients with chronic heart failure, according to new research released Sunday. Chronic heart failure [...]
  • True Original "Killer Kowalski", Ashley Masarro's Secret
    "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” — Robert Frost It takes a different breed to become a professional wrestler. But [...]